It's finally over! The exams. It was over since Mon and I know I didn't blog to share my joy with everyone. Lol. I was busy trying to clear stuffs. =p
I finally finished my degree, in approximately 10 months. I learnt alot, I lost alot, I stressed alot, I studied alot... In that short expanse of 10 months. Before I left Singapore, I didn't imagine that I would be going through so much in that short time span. Before I left, part of me was reluctant to leave while part of me wanted to leave. Reluctant because deep inside me I knew that somehow some things might go differently. Wanting to leave because I wanted to try being independent. I wanted to try living overseas. I wanted to try living elsewhere without my parents around. I prayed and wished that somehow things wouldn't become different but who am I kidding. The world still turn and things are still growing. *shrugs*
Now what was I busy with the past few days... Hmmm... I'm starting to pack my stuffs coz I'm going home. Home... I never thought I would miss home. Never thought that I would miss my bed and the 'room' that I sleep in or even my pesky, meddling brother. Haha! I hope he's turning out alright now. I'm also out shopping for things to get either for myself or really belated presents for friends. Haha. Seriously.
I know I should feel happy and all that I'm going back coz I have been mumbling and grumbling about it for the past...say 10 months? Haha... But in actual fact, I don't really feel that happy. Not the happy-happy kind where I-can-bounce-around-the-house-all-day. Not that I'm not glad to leave this boring place. It's more like an empty feeling. It's like I don't feel anything anymore. Like there's a hole where emotions used to be..............
My stomach like hurts a little every now and then. I probably should get it checked just in case but I don't think I would.
I miss you so...
Labels: empty, exams, home, pain, reflecting
Daylight savings is back again. I'm now 1 hour ahead of everyone so don't forget people!! Haha... It's really a nuisance this daylight savings thingy. Everyone have to readjust their clocks, watches and time on handphones and whatever gadgets they possess. POO!
Anyway I have already confirmed my flight back home. Suddenly I can't wait for the exams to be over so I can get out of this place. Even though there were good memories such as making loads of nice friends from Maccas and hanging out with them, KTV and bubble teas. There are also bad ones which I refuse to talk about. No point raking up split milk.
I have been pretty busy mugging for quizzes as I have 1 after the other. I just had 1 on Mon and I have another one tomorrow and 2 more next Mon. I am so dead. It's like non-stop studying/mugging once I'm done with 1 quiz. -_-|||
Despite my busyness, the inner turmoil within me is growing no matter how much I try to suppress it. Doubts, dreaded answers and unwanted visions flickers through my mind. I never liked being afraid and yet that is growing inside of me at a slow, steady rate. I hate that feeling. As much as I hate waiting because waiting allows my mind to wander into unwanted places.
Once again I am haunted by you in my dreams. It was a pleasant dream as far as I can remember because I didn't wake up with bad vibes or anything so I guess it must have been pleasant enough. *shrugs* Now it kinda makes me wonder whether do I also haunt you in your dreams or maybe it's just me?? I will never know that answer I guess...
Well I've already said my piece so I shall wait for the verdict that will come after this weekend.
"The biggest fool is standing right here..."Labels: daylight savings, doubts, dreams, home
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